


Sometime Around Midnight

by SocksAreArgyle



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sad, how do tags work blah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2288717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocksAreArgyle/pseuds/SocksAreArgyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened?<br/>Where did I go wrong?<br/>Everything seemed perfect.  Things were going smoothly.  We were happy.<br/>Nagisa, I'm sorry.<br/>I'm so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometime Around Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I just really wanted to write something sad and then this happened. I hope you like it though :3
> 
> I based it off of the song Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event, specifically [this cover](https://soundcloud.com/virginia-speidel/sometime-around-midnight) by Virginia Speidel. It is such a pretty song, but the lyrics kill me every time. You really should listen to it, though. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> (I apologize for any typos, I just cranked it out without really editing it woops)

_What happened?_

_Where did I go wrong?_

_Everything seemed perfect.Things were going smoothly.We were happy._

_Nagisa, I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry._

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The bar lights cast a pale blue glow across the people sitting along the smooth wood, half empty glasses placed haphazardly on the edge and leaving rings where someone didn't place a coaster.It smells strongly of alcohol, and Rei has stopped paying attention to the conversation between his university buddies.  

He has a short glass of whiskey in his right hand.He lost track of how many times he'd gotten it refilled.He didn't care anymore at this point.He just wanted to drink the pain away.

He wanted to forget, but the memories were too important to him.How could he ever forget Nagisa?

The song the band is playing isn't helping either.  

His fingers go numb as he thinks about the lyrics the man is singing, words telling him to forget himself.Just for a while.Just let go and forget the whole world.

It's the piano accompanying the voice, however, that gets to his head and his heart.It makes him think of Nagisa's smile, no matter how melancholy the tune.He thinks of the way Nagisa used to beam up at him, eyes twinkling and cheeks speckled with pink.  

Rei lowers his head, looking down through the amber liquid at the bottom of his glass, and he has to pinch the bridge of his nose to keep from letting tears spring to his eyes.  

It had been two weeks since Nagisa had stormed out of Rei's apartment, leaving Rei to stumble behind him, trying to reach out to him, but only seeming to get farther away from the love of his life.He called his name, but it was lost in his throat before it made it past his lips.

The door slammed.He hit the floor.And the tears came out all at once.He tore at his chest, gripping his hair until he was sure he'd make himself bleed, as choked sobs escaped his throat, forming incoherent versions of Nagisa's name.

He had woken up the next morning on the floor, curled up in on himself, his eyes burning from the tears, and his glasses on the floor across the room.

Over the next few days, he remembered finding some of Nagisa's old items around his apartment: a few of his pink and yellow hair clips, some of his books and magazines, one of his old worn out tee-shirts stuffed in Rei's own shirt drawer.Every time he found something, the tears would threaten to spill over again.He would usually give in, and sit on the floor clutching whatever item he had found close to his chest until the throbbing went away and he could walk well enough to drop the item in a box he had labeled "Nagisa-kun".  

Rei snaps himself out of his thoughts when he downs the rest of his drink, no longer feeling the burning in his throat that had been there four glasses ago.He turns away from the bar, looking out at the mob of dancing people, who have managed to mellow down for this one slow song.

What catches his eye, however, is a small blond making his way toward him, a sad smile on his usually vibrant face.Rei is speechless, watching as Nagisa comes towards him.

_Why is he here?He surely won't forgive me.Please, Nagisa, please…_

"How are you, Rei-chan?" comes quietly from between those small lips, and Rei has to remember to breath.

He feels light headed, and the room is spinning around him and Nagisa.He's fortunate for the dim lights and his glasses to hide the tears that have finally begun to come to his eyes.

He can smell Nagisa's perfume.A soft floral scent that he had gotten a few months previous when they had gone out shopping.  

Rei is hit with another memory that makes his chest squeeze and his pulse leap into his throat.He remembers laying in his bed, Nagisa pressed against his bare chest, while his arms link around the small blond's waist.Nagisa was warm, and his skin felt soft against Rei's bare body.He had pressed his hands against Nagisa's stomach and chest, bringing them up along his hips and waist, tracing his hipbone and grinning at the breathy laughter he elicited from Nagisa with the feather-light touches.He had buried his face into the crook of Nagisa's neck and nuzzled the hair at the nape of his neck, breathing in that same floral scent he got the hint of now.

The smell takes him back to all their time together.Everything since their first date.They had gone to the zoo that day, at Nagisa's request, and had spent most of the time at the penguin exhibit.Rei didn't mind, though.He was more than happy to take photos of Nagisa standing in front of the penguin enclosure, his heart swelling at the sight of Nagisa so excited.

He recalls their first kiss, a fumbling mess that left Rei blushing and apologizing like a madman.He had gotten too excited, trying to take the first step and initiate the kiss, but he had ending up slamming his forehead right into the bridge of Nagisa's nose.He apologized profusely and Nagisa had to grab him by the shoulders to get him to calm down, telling him it was alright multiple times, and that there was no harm done.Rei had calmed down, had taken a deep breath, and had swallowed hard a few times before being able to look at Nagisa again with saying sorry again.They had stayed like that, until Nagisa brought his hands up to Rei's neck, and then up to his jaw, caressing his cheeks in either hand.Rei's pulse was hammering, and he was hoping that Nagisa couldn't hear it.He let his eyes flutter closed and all he knew was the taste of Nagisa and the feel of his lips on his own.They were soft, smooth, with a hint of strawberry.

He remembers going out a few weeks later on a particularly hot day to go get ice cream.Nagisa had gotten strawberry and chocolate, while Rei went with blueberry and vanilla.The heat was melting the treat quickly, so they were hurrying to eat it, making a sort of contest out of who could finish theirs the fastest before it made a mess.Rei had accepted the challenge, but all was lost when he dipped his cone a bit too far and the contents spilled out over his chest and lap.He had jumped back, only causing his cone to fall to the ground in front of him as he tried to wipe the sticky mess out of his clothes with some napkins.He remembers Nagisa laughing at him, and finding himself laughing, too, at the situation.

He remembers Nagisa convincing him to paint his toenails a purple one late night after a scary movie, and Rei obliges, letting Nagisa paint his toes.He had made sure to take extra care of them to keep the little white butterflies Nagisa added on as long as possible.

He remembers the first time they had sex, stumbling into Rei's apartment at some ungodly hour of the night after having just enough to drink.It was messy and nervous at first, but Rei wanted to please Nagisa any way he could.He wanted to see his boyfriend happy and smiling.The morning after, Rei had gotten up and made them breakfast, waking up Nagisa with a plate stacked high with pancakes, and strawberries with cream.

He remembers the hugs, the cuddling, the spending time with Haru and Makoto when they got the chance, the nose kisses and running of fingers through hair whenever they were close.He remembers everything in such vivid detail with Nagisa right in front of him that he can't even speak.

He feels helpless like this, and his drunken state isn't helping him much.

When he registers his surroundings again, he sees Nagisa heading toward the door, his hand held tight around someone else's. 

Rei's heart sinks and the color drains from his face as he meets Nagisa's gaze and their eyes lock for no more than a second.His face is scarily neutral, lips pressed into a thin line and jaw set, but his eyes hold sorrow.It's too late for Rei to do anything before Nagisa is out the door with a tall, black haired man on his heels.

Rei feels himself literally bristle as he clenches his fists at his sides.His blood boils and his stomach is in rows as he watches the retreating back of his once-lover with another man.  

_I love you, Nagisa, not him.Not whoever that man is.Nagisa is my love.My only love.I need to fix this.I need to fix this now…_

Suddenly he remembers he came here with friends because he feels a firm hand on his shoulder.Not restricting, merely concerned.He's on his feet now, which he doesn't remember doing, and he turns to face his friend, who's expression is filled with concern alongside his other friend.

"What is it?It looks like you've seen a ghost," the first says warily, and Rei just shrugs his hand off his shoulder and shakes his head, but stops the motion because it makes him feel like he's going to be sick.He grips at the side of the bar before pushing away as they begin asking again, and he somehow manages to get through the throng of people and outside to the cold, midnight air.  

He knows people are staring.He knows.

But he's far too drunk to care, and Nagisa is the only thing on his mind.The world his caving in around him.The people on the sidewalk around him fade into nothingness and the only thing keeping him on track are the streetlights illuminating his path.

_I just have to see him.I just have to see him.Just once more.Please, Nagisa.Let me in.Let me see you one last time…_

_Let me make things right._

But he knows Nagisa will break him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rei soon finds himself at Nagisa's apartment door.He doesn't remember getting there.Just that he was standing there now.

He swallows hard, trying to keep himself from swaying as the alcohol in his system continued to keep him buzzing.

He raises his hand and knocks once.He can see the lights on under the door and can hear feet padding across the hardwood floor.They pause when Rei knocks.

Rei steps forward to the door, resting his head on the cold wood with a light _thump_.

"Nagisa-kun?" he manages after a moment and he hears shuffling from inside again, but no voices.

 _Maybe he didn't bring that man back with him after all_.

"Nagisa… please, let me talk for a minute.Just sixty seconds.Please."He can hear his own voice break at the last word, and he clamps a hand over his mouth to keep from letting out a sob."Please, let me try to fix this," he finishes through his strained voice.

He can hear shuffling again, and footsteps approaching the door.Rei takes a step back, nearly tripping over his own feet, but manages to stay standing, no matter how much he was swaying.

He almost breaths a sigh of relief when Nagisa opens the door to look out at him, and Rei can see no one else inside the sitting room.Nagisa is wearing a lavender robe, but it's much too short, only coming down to his knees, but Rei can feel a small smile tugging at his lips.

His expression falls flat, though, when he meets Nagisa's gaze.Lips turned down in a frown while his eyes are red rimmed, but Rei thinks that's just his imagination, "Yes, Rei-chan?" he asks curtly.

Rei flinches at the sharp tone, and he notices Nagisa's eyes flicker with concern for a moment, but Rei looks down at his won feet too quickly to see if it was really there or not.

"Nagisa-kun… I know…" he pauses, taking a deep breath, and looking up at Nagisa, meeting a gaze that was indeed filled with worry, "I know I messed up, I really did.I was such an idiot to stray like that… I knew I had too much to drink and should've just gone back to my dorm, I'm sorry Nagisa.I'm so so sorry," he whimpers, his vision blurring.

While they had been away at their respective universities, Rei had gone to a party with his roommates one evening.He had spilled most of it to Nagisa those few weeks ago.

He had kept it a secret for months.He never planned on telling Nagisa that he had slept with someone else, and he knew that's what had screwed him over.He had woken up next to one of the boys in his classes, naked and messy in a bed he didn't know, and he had been terrified.He had gotten dressed and bolted without even leaving a note to say he had gone.  

Nagisa had found out those few weeks ago, after they had both been drinking in Rei's apartment and Nagisa decided to ask if Rei had any secrets.He didn't know anything about this predicament at that point, and Rei was determined to keep it that way.But his mouth and his brain didn't seem to want to cooperate.

His lips were already forming the words before his brain could function enough to stop himself.

_"I fucked one of my classmates."_

Oh, how Rei had regretted his choice of words.  

Nagisa's face had fallen, and Rei could almost hear his heart shatter.Both of their hearts.

_"What?"_

Nagisa's voice, broken and weak, had frightened Rei.He knew he had just fucked everything up.He knew he had just ruined the relationship with the love of his life.

_"Nagisa… I…"_

He had tried to fix it, tried to explain himself, but when Nagisa had asked when it happened and Rei replied with a shaky _"two months ago"_ , and Nagisa had bitten down on his trembling bottom lip and held his hands tightly together in his lap.

Rei could see Nagisa becoming more and more sober with each passing second as the shock took over his small form.His shoulders had been trembling, and Rei wanted to do nothing more than hold him close and whisper comforting words in his ear, but he couldn't move.  

 _"Why didn't you say anything?"_ Nagisa had asked, his voice thick with tears, and Rei had been silent.He couldn't say a word after knowing he had just confessed something he never should have let slip.

Something that he should have told Nagisa about as soon as it happened.

As Rei continues to try and convince Nagisa to let them stay close, to take him back even though he knew he didn't deserve it, he finds himself being led into the messy apartment and placed on the couch they had spent countless hours on together and having a blanket draped over his shoulders.

He knows he's talking, he just doesn't know what he's saying.He's talking a mile a minute, most of the words most likely "I'm sorry, Nagisa.I am so so sorry.Please, Nagisa."

When Nagisa reaches forward, Rei ceases his babbling and melts into the touch of Nagisa's hands on his cheeks.He must have been crying the whole time, because Nagisa is wiping tears off his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.When his vision clears enough to see Nagisa's features, he sees tears streaking down his cheeks, and Rei makes a small choking sound, trying to form some sort of apology, but he never wanted to see Nagisa cry again.

"I'm so sorry, Nagisa," he croaks, "I love you, I am so sorry."

A sad smile graces Nagisa's lips as he cocks his head and rubs gently at the newly forming tears welling up over Rei's cheeks.  

Rei just stares at Nagisa, taking in his messy golden curls, and the way his cheeks are flushed from crying and how his eyes are red and puffy, and the wet trails meeting down at his chin where the tears drip off onto his lap.

He takes in a deep breath and wipes his eyes with his sleeve before bringing his hands back up to caress Rei's cheeks.

"Never say 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' in the same sentence ever again."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a one shot, but I am planning on writing a full Reigisa fic at some point in the future.
> 
> You can find my tumblr [here](http://socksareargyle.tumblr.com/) if you want to ask me questions or just follow me or whatever, haha.
> 
> Thank for reading, I really appreciate it!
> 
> Have a lovely day/afternoon/evening!


End file.
